I’ve stopped writing. It’s been a really long time already since I felt good about something I’d written. I only write when I feel sad or angry. I guess in a way, I ended up not writing anymore because of that. It’s like I only ever really write about negative things. Until I got good at “ignoring” those kinds of feelings, until I didn’t write about them anymore or anything else for that matter. I didn’t realize I kind of lost my only outlet. And kept all these pent up feelings and that’s where I found myself today.
There are days I want to scream. Because I’m happy. Really. Other times because I’m not. But that’s okay. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to be angry and sad as long as they aren’t things you’ll hold on to forever and you don’t allow them to destroy your relationships. Like what Mitchelle from that TV show, Modern Family, “I just need to have my reaction.” We all need to have our reaction. And then we need to get over it. Another thing is, if we didn’t get to feel angry and sad, we wouldn’t quite appreciate it when we feel good and happy, wouldn’t we? 🙂
In life, good and bad things will happen. It’s inevitable. No amount of trying, studying, controlling, screaming, kicking, fighting, pulling, pushing will ever change that. We’re not in control of the world. God is. Although we can control how we react to certain things, how we rise above the ashes, how we see people, and our outlook in life among other things. But we aren’t in control over a lot of things, mostly the things that matter. And it’s important to accept that, earlier now that later on. What matters is that we learn to let go of the bad and hold the good, clench-fist and all stubborn-like. Either way, we have to learn from whatever life throws at us.
I haven’t gotten it all figured out yet. I believe I’m a work in progress, after all. I don’t anybody should stop trying to learn or get something out of life. We’re supposed to live our lives out, aren’t we, anyway? It’s meant to be lived to the fullest.
God wouldn’t have made such a madly beautiful place if we weren’t wired to appreciate it. And He wouldn’t have even made us according to His image if we weren’t so special.